Don’t make em, live em!

There is something about classic film photography that gets me excited. You get one shot and one shot only (well sort of but let me get all deep and meaningful on you guys). Photography has taught me so many life lessons.

– Don’t capture the moment, be in the moment

– Always take time to recharge your batteries to the fullest so you can always capture a moments full potential

– Never be afraid to try new angles

– If you don’t get it the first time…try again

– There is always a chance to develop the negatives

And the cool thing is? I have only just begun.

These probably ain’t blogs…but what even is social norm

My partner asked me tonight ‘did anything amazing happen today’. I would usually say something about the famous person I interviewed, or something spectacular I felt I done.
But no, my answer was. “Yup. I woke. I am living.”

For me that was an awesome thing. At work I met two amazing rangatahi from around the world who are apart of the YWAM kaupapa. They go into communities around the world and serve out of the kindness of their hearts. Now if I can take an excert out of a couple of notes they left with me “Life is more than work and money and acceptance from the people around you.”

Now I would never in a day blame the way I am for the acceptance of others but I will and would say that I was the way that I was to be accepted by others. I felt that I needed to paint my canvas with the wring shades in order to be the painting that I thought I needed to be.

Their korero only made me realise and help me to better on my days of giving. 364 days to go…geez how fast hehe.

Now my highlight of the day (pic) was seeing my mother in law in her garden. It has taken her 6 years to revive it but it just made me happy. To see someone who has had a hand in raising many people do something for herself and literally watch the fruits flourish. I look forward to one day dipping her strawberries in chocolate sauce or maybe even a fresh salad.

But for now I sit in comfort knowing that even though there are weeds with bad roots bigger than my thighs the foundations of the garden still remain the same…and when you too are ready to start your garden fresh. I hope it brings you comfort too 

Mauri ora & pomarie.

Here’s to the next 365 days

10 years ago…I remember.

When I first started lying. Never to hurt anyone. I just lied my way to the center of attention.
FLASHBACK

It was my 10th birthday! (We never celebrated our birthdays or any holiday at that matter with my Dad, it just wasn’t his thing and that was ok.)

But growing up the social norm for every 10 year old was to have a party. So I lied, I told all my friends at Rangikura primary in Porirua I had a huge party and got so many gifts…I thought about this today as I visited my whanau in the urupa today.

As I took one last look at the blackberry bushes that once grew my family gardens before I closed my eyes…it may sound cheesy but my life flashed before my eyes.

10 years on and I lay in the urupa on my great grandmother and reflected on all those unnecessary lies.
I remember moving to Wharekahika. We lived in a tent on our whanau land (where the blackberry bushes now grow.) I was so embarassed but now that I look back they were the best days of my life.

I use to lie all the time about that time of my life and half of my closest friends and even family know little about my life before 12 years old.

10 years on today and I lay here on my nanny staring up at our pa Kakati I saw a Kaahu (Hawk bird) funnily enough her name is Akeneehi Kaahu Puru.

And that’s when it hit me. Is it really about me? 24 hours of celebrating for the 20th time the day I entered this earth. No, it isn’t at all. It is about acknowledging the people who have raised me to be the woman I am today, it’s about appreciating the 20 amazing years I have been blessed with on this Earth and it is about 20 years of being able to say I am.

I AM blissfully free to choose.

I AM one with the magnificence of my highest self 

I AM one with all and separate from none 

I AM that I AM.

So I have vowed to myself. 

Everyday, for the next 365 days to just give all of myself in an honest way to the world for the sake of world.
So heres to the next 365 days. Where I want to be able to look back at this post and feel proud of 20 year old Moerangi sitting on the couch listening to my dad cook roast and watching Abalone Wars on Discovery. Here is to the next 365 days and the death of ego.

And if you are reading this…thank you for being a part of my life.

BLESS UP. ❤👆

The hardest lazy lyric poem I ever wrote

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I wrote this piece on the morning of your passing. 1:43am was when I found out…
These are the songs and albums of Judy Mowatt mushed together for healing sake. I feel it describes you…and my moko to nan relationship.
Big woman, black woman
Down in the valley
Got to leave the West
Kings of Kings many are called on your mark
Only woman put it on sisters chant
Slave queen think strength to go through
Trade winds love is overdue
Guilty
Now let’s sing our own song
This is what I really wanted to share on your night of final goodbyes but ego got the better of me. To death goes ego. Guilty.
I love you, I miss you.

I legit have $25.24 r/n

 

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Hello land of Moerangi’s minimal blog readers.

So I thought I would give you all an up to date of the first ever blog I originally posted. The best thing I have ever did in my life financially was save with one of the most trust worthy men I know, my uncle. The worst thing I have ever done for my “wants” was save money with my uncle lol.

I legit have $25.24 to my name at the moment #ballin but I couldn’t be any happier!

These past few days I have just been full on planning my future with random brain spurts (lets hope), dreams and ideas.

Back to money saving lol. It really isn’t all it is cut out to be. I mean you don’t just put $300 away a week and after 6 months you are a millionaire. Heck no. It is a whirl wind of trials and errors. You really do need to budget in the mishaps and the miscellaneous cos trust me they happen.

Here is an update of my payment schedule.

  • $100 p/w Rent
  • $50 p/w Power
  • $150 p/w Food
  • $80 p/w Gas
  • $25 p/w SKY
  • $10 p/w School Fees
  • $10 p/w Kaupapa
  • $75 p/mth Wi-Fi (duhh gotta get dat wiiiifiii whanux)
  • $93 p/fortnight (on something dumb that I shouldn’t have done LOL)

And usually I put in $300 p/w to my savings account (with my uncle) but for the past month I have been skipping those payments because I didn’t plan for the mishaps. My car needed a warrant and then it spiraled downwards from there haha.

In all honesty it was embarrassing. Especially when I thought I saw myself as a financially stable for a person my age.

But don’t ever be too proud to admit it rangatahi ma! Straight up (or is it just me who doesn’t lol). But really in all seriousness don’t. It can seriously kill your ego (for some that is a good thing). Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Are you getting me yet or should I keep on nagging?

So what I done is jumped onto sorted.org.nz and re-evaluated my calculator on there. For some you may want to tell an aunty or ask a budgeter. Just do something that helps and works for you.

Anyways I am getting sick of myself. Imagining if I was reading this I would be telling the author to shut up. So, bye lol.

Bay all day

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Ever realised that you live in one of the most beautiful places in the world but you truly don’t know that…in a way.

Have you ever swam in your river but that’s the only part you’ve ever explored?

Have you ever taken a photo of your maunga but that’s the only angle you’ve ever seen it from?

Have you ever lay in your wharenui looking up at the kowhaiwhai, ran your fingers across the tukutuku, looked at the pou but that’s the only understanding you have of them?

Have you ever??????

I challenge you. Honestly I challenge you. One day go a little further up your awa, climb your maunga just a little higher, spend more time in your whare and get to know your tipuna a little more.

There is no better feeling than feeling like you have somewhere you belong. And why do you belong? Because you truly know who you are. You know the mountains your tipuna lived on, you know the rivers that they drank from, you know the art form that they are now.

You know.

You belong.

Hoki ki o maunga

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There’s something about climbing maunga that I don’t enjoy.
The pain your body suffers.
The amount of times you have to push yourself.
The never ending nearly there moments and the struggle.

But ohhhhhhh there’s something about climbing maunga that gets me all excited.
The journey, 
the climb, 
the view,
the feeling,
and the accomplishment.

I liken climbing maunga to the journey in life. Only just last night I hit rock bottom. My maunga didn’t feel worth it anymore.

I couldn’t take the pain I was suffering.
I didn’t want to push myself anymore.
I felt like I was nowhere near the top.

Let me tell you something about climbing maunga.
The journey is beautiful so keep on keeping on.
The climb is hard but you will get there.
The view is worth it so look a little further.
The feeling is exhilarating just wait and see.
The accomplishment?  That’s nothing. Look at your journey you soldier.

Keep on climbing. In the words of the once wise Hannah Montanna. Now she is so dopey so don’t listen to her words..lol.

There’s always gonna be another mountain.
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb…

Hoki ki o maunga kia pure ai nga hau a Tawhirimatea…