10 years ago…I remember.
When I first started lying. Never to hurt anyone. I just lied my way to the center of attention.
It was my 10th birthday! (We never celebrated our birthdays or any holiday at that matter with my Dad, it just wasn’t his thing and that was ok.)
But growing up the social norm for every 10 year old was to have a party. So I lied, I told all my friends at Rangikura primary in Porirua I had a huge party and got so many gifts…I thought about this today as I visited my whanau in the urupa today.
As I took one last look at the blackberry bushes that once grew my family gardens before I closed my eyes…it may sound cheesy but my life flashed before my eyes.
10 years on and I lay in the urupa on my great grandmother and reflected on all those unnecessary lies.
I remember moving to Wharekahika. We lived in a tent on our whanau land (where the blackberry bushes now grow.) I was so embarassed but now that I look back they were the best days of my life.
I use to lie all the time about that time of my life and half of my closest friends and even family know little about my life before 12 years old.
10 years on today and I lay here on my nanny staring up at our pa Kakati I saw a Kaahu (Hawk bird) funnily enough her name is Akeneehi Kaahu Puru.
And that’s when it hit me. Is it really about me? 24 hours of celebrating for the 20th time the day I entered this earth. No, it isn’t at all. It is about acknowledging the people who have raised me to be the woman I am today, it’s about appreciating the 20 amazing years I have been blessed with on this Earth and it is about 20 years of being able to say I am.
I AM blissfully free to choose.
I AM one with the magnificence of my highest self
I AM one with all and separate from none
I AM that I AM.
So I have vowed to myself.
Everyday, for the next 365 days to just give all of myself in an honest way to the world for the sake of world.
So heres to the next 365 days. Where I want to be able to look back at this post and feel proud of 20 year old Moerangi sitting on the couch listening to my dad cook roast and watching Abalone Wars on Discovery. Here is to the next 365 days and the death of ego.
And if you are reading this…thank you for being a part of my life.
BLESS UP. ❤👆